As I reflect on my journey to 34, the family that has held me up, the friends that have supported me, and the mentors that have paved the way, I’m grateful for the woman that I am becoming.
On this journey, I’ve been privileged to benefit from the generosity of individuals, far and wide, whose legacy contributions have paved the way for me to pursue my dreams and aspirations. Though I have never met these individuals whose seeds have nurtured me, I know that one way to reward their magnanimity is to pay it forward. I am eternally grateful to them.
“A society grows great when old men (and women) plant trees whose shades they know they shall never sit in”.
As a young Nigerian who cares deeply about this country, who is concerned about the future we are bequeathing to generations to come, I have long made a personal commitment to do my bit, in my own little circle of influence, to change the narrative around leadership and citizenship. I have strong interest in grooming a new breed of citizens grounded on values of integrity, patriotism and service, who will rekindle hopes for a brighter future.
To this end, I am starting an endowment fund that will provide grants and scholarship to advance Leadership, Education, Citizenship, Culture and the Arts.
The five pillars of the fund are areas that I have strong interest in, have worked in for the last nearly two decades, and I believe are critical to the growth of Nigeria and our continent at large.
I am launching the fund with a personal contribution of 1 million naira. Over the years, I hope to grow the fund through additional personal donations, fundraisers and contributions from family, friends and individuals of goodwill.
It has always been my desire to formalize my contributions to my alma maters and the community at large. This is one of the ways I plan to continue to give back to my alma maters, each of which has given so much to me, and to provide opportunities for the next generation to explore the tenets of leadership and citizenship.
In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more details about the fund. Until then, I thank you for coming with me on this journey. I strongly believe that as citizens, we hold the key to unlocking national transformation. Let’s go far together.
On this day three years ago, I was gearing up for the second edition of Girl Lead Hub #PledgeforGirls fundraiser. Hard to believe it’s been three years!I had worked hard with some of my girl champions preparing for yet another event where we will raise money to support adolescent girl child education. I had the most fun working with the girls. Their leadership and commitment to service was inspiring. Deep down, I was quite proud of the women they were becoming.By the end of our two fundraisers, we had raised over 600,000 naira. I remember the look of pride and joy in their faces when they learned what we had been able to accomplish together. With the money raised, we were able to provide scholarships to eleven girls at Government Girls Secondary School Dutse, over the course of two school years.In addition to the scholarships provided, I also provided direct mentoring, through leadership development sessions, to the girls. It gives me great joy to know that those girls have now graduated from secondary school. Some of them have started university education while the others are working towards starting their university education.Tomorrow I’ll be making a big announcement.😊
I can’t give all the details but I can say that it takes my engagement and commitment to building young leaders to the next level.I want to thank everyone who has been part of my journey so far. I look forward to building the future together.Announcement loading…
On Friday, I was a panelist, along with Ms. Abiodun Baiyewu, Mark Amaza, and Murtala Mohammed, at the annual House of Justice Summit and Banquet, in Kaduna. This year’s theme was Governance, Impunity and Accountability in a Populist Era. My key submissions were:
1. As citizens, we have a crucial role to play in ensuring good governance, ending impunity, and holding our leadership accountable. We!must take our role as citizens seriously and take back our government.
2. The generation coming after us have only known a Nigeria where impunity is the norm. We have work to do in reorientation and re-education around the core citizenship values of patriotism, integrity, respect for law, etc.
3. We must strengthen our institutions. As President Barack Obama once said, what Africa needs is strong institutions, not strong men. We must strengthen the core institutions of governance that gurantee accountability. We must also revive those institutions that have been designed to nurture and groom young leaders and prepare them to contribute meaningfully to nation building.
Yesterday was also a great opportunity to catch up with Sam Amadi. I haven’t heard him speak in a while and I thoroughly enjoyed his paper presentation which emphasized the need to protect judicial independence.
I want to give kudos to House of Justice for putting together this very important dialogue. Shout out to Gloria Mabeiam for her exemplary leadership. The organization and warm reception was second to none! The timing of the dialogue was apt. We must continue to expand the spaces for dialogue and speak truth to power even when the powers that be will rather we don’t.
Last week at the DARE Summit, organized by Youth Hub Africa, I moderated a panel featuring the Minster of Youth and Sports, Sunday Dare, and the Executive Director of YIAGA Africa, Samson Itodo. The theme of the panel was “Is Nigeria Working for Young People?”
I began the discussion posing the question to the audience. I asked them to stand up if they were in agreement that Nigeria was working for young people. I heard some murmur from the audience but everyone was glued to their seats.
I turned the question to the Minister of Youth and Sports. Mr. Dare. The Minister was of the opinion that the there is room to do more to create the enabling environment for young people thrive. Mr. Itodo, Executive Director of YIAGA Africa was on the side of the audience. He cited poverty and bad education infrastructure as examples of why there’s still a lot of work to do.
Mr. Dare spent some time sharing three areas his administration will address in the next couple of years including creating maximising the opportunity that technology provides to create digital jobs, and exploring the economic opportunities in the sports.
Mr. Itodo encouraged more focus civic participation. Citizens must rise up to their responsibility of holding government accountable he emphasised.
I particularly enjoyed moderating this session. I especially appreciated the participant questions which focused on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. I was also excited to hear the Minster’s plans for a Ministry that caters to Nigeria’s youths. For the first time in many years, I am hopeful that we can expect some positive outcomes.
But more importantly, these outcomes will not happen if we crossed our hands and sit on the sidelines. We must do our part by holding government accountable at all levels, beginning at the local levels.
I closed the session by asking the audience to stand up if they will do their part to ensure that Nigeria will work for every young Nigerian. Every audience member stood to their feet. I salute every young person who is doing their part to make this country work. We may not have contributed to the mess that we have today but we must act now to ensure we leave a decent future for the next generation.
Thanks to Youth Hub Africa and all the partners and volunteers that made #Dare19 a success.
I’m learning to pay closer attention to things that happen to me and around me. I believe that God leaves small hints along the way to alert me of what’s to come or to help me contextualize past experiences. Have you had those experiences that felt like you were replaying a scene out of a movie, or in this case a dream, because only a few weeks ago those characters featured in your dream?
I woke up this morning thinking “if I were a hashtag, I’ll trend”. It was my last thoughts in a dream where I experienced a public ‘holy’ embarrassment.
This dream took place in a church. Details of where are a bit hazy now, but I was sitting with a couple of friends at a corner away from the congregation. It had to be a Catholic church because several members of the congregation were taking turns singing the verses of the responsorial psalm, which is typically sung by one person. It wasn’t clear how I was selected to do this but I found myself going up to take the last stanza of the psalm.
As I walked towards the podium I recall thinking to myself how unprepared I was to do this. I had been sitting in my corner chatting with my friend and only half listening to what was going on at the altar. As I approached the podium, I tried to recall the melody the other singers had used to sing their verses. When that failed, I quickly scanned a few catholic songs in my head for an ideal tune I could apply to the psalm. A song finally came to my head; but without practising several times, to figure out the pauses, I knew I was setting myself up.
I’m not one to wing it, especially when I have a dedicated audience. Out of respect for the people who have taken time out to come and listen to me, I ensure I have adequate prep time if I can help it. So when I walked up that podium, knowing that I was trying to cheat my way through, my nerves kicked in.
I consider rendering the responsorial psalm a sacred honor. Before I walk up to the podium, I ask God to open my heart and my mouth so that the words that come out will minister to the listener in the way that he intended it. It’s a truly humbling moment.
So I took to the podium, I opened my mouth, and in the first three attempts, nothing came out. I ignored the voice that said “just recite the words” and tried a fourth time. I heard a faltering wimper and somehow I mustered the courage to keep going. I knew it was bad because a few times I had to repeat the lines in a way that it made sense to the listener. I was too afraid to look in the direction of the audience but I know it had to be a full congregation because the booing and mumering that followed continued to ring in my head even after I woke up. It sounded like the noise that makes a subject trend on social media.
I managed to finish the whole verse, stepped down from the podium and made my way back to the corner where I was seated with my friends who had now moved to another corner. So many thoughts ran through my mind as I took what seemed like endless steps back to my seat. I tried to make sense of the lessons learned.
What lessons stood out for you? Would you like to share a time when your dream or silent thoughts came alive?
Exactly nine years ago today, I returned to Nigeria after being away for seven years in the United States. I pondered this on the bus ride from Brussels to The Hague where I was gong to visit a few friends. As the bus approached the city, I couldn’t help but notice how estranged it felt. Tall picturesque buildings, beautiful scenery, but it felt like something was missing.
I made a note to ask the friends I see what they miss the most about Nigeria. Often times when I tell people I lived in the US for seven years the next question that follows is “why did you move back?”. In the last week alone, I’ve been asked that question at least three times. The tone ranges from commendation to concern to outright shock. Whichever way it comes, my response is consistent.
Nigeria is home. Call me naive or idealist. I came home because when I left the country 16 years ago, as a 16 year old, I promised my country and myself that after getting my education, I’ll return home to give back to Nigeria… you could say, “Make Nigeria great again”. This was also a version of what I told the consular officer at the US Embassy in Lagos before they ended the interview barely few minutes after it started.
Deep in my heart I was confident that I had all it took to turn Nigeria around. I was convinced America did not need yet another talented and passionate young woman. My country Nigeria needed me more. I also came back home because as a young girl I had the passion to make meaningful contribution to Nigeria’s public sector and what better way to get started on that ambition than to return home to learn the ropes.
On September 5, 2010, I boarded an aircraft from Columbus, Ohio and landed in Abuja on September 6, 2010. After a short trip to Abuja in the summer of 2008 to conduct research for my capstone project, I was sure that if I could survive anywhere in Nigeria without getting frustrated, it will be Abuja.
Nine years later, I look back and ackowledge all that I have been blessed to accomplish. I thank every single person who has helped me along the way and every Angel God has sent my way. I can’t help but declare that there is so much more work left to be done particularly in the area of opening up the space for more women and youth in governance.
I have travelled to a few countries around the world and while I enjoy the opportunity to take a break and experience a whole new world, I’m often eager to return home. I love Nigeria die! I truly want to see Nigeria and Nigerians progress and champion the growth of the continent.
So when I asked my friends pursuing their masters at International Institute of Social Studies, The Hague what they miss the most about Nigeria, they said “the warmth and sense of community”. I couldn’t agree more. As I go into my decade of return, I pledge to keep working towards a more inclusive Nigeria and equipping young girls with skills needed to succeed in a future where all Nigerians have equal opportunity to make meaningful contributions to shape our future. “We are the ones we have been waiting for. ”
It was the first day of the new administration, even though this realization didn’t hit me until midday when I asked a member of staff of the Vice President how her day had been while escorting her into the US Embassy Chancery. “It’s been very busy… first day of the new administration” she said while managing a smile. That’s right! I thought. Just the day before, I watched my sister on stage remind us that “We have to fight, the fight to gel, the fight to excel, the fight to stop fighting…” as she performed one of my favorite tracks of hers—“Naija-Awake”—to a very receptive audience at the Inauguration Day Concert at Transcorp Hilton, which also featured Award winning Nigerian artist, Simi.
Performing Naija Awake (as recommended by our mother), a song that emphasizes unity and peace, on Inauguration Day, on the eve of May 30, a very symbolic day in Nigeria’s history, held a lot of meaning for me. So also did the meeting of Imam Abdullahi and Vice President Yemi Osinbajo on May 30, 2019.
I returned to the office on May 27, after a few days’ work trip to Johannesburg, and was informed that Deputy Chief of Mission David Young has requested that I join the team that will accompany Imam Abubabar Abdullahi to meet with the Vice President on May 30th. I was very happy to learn that the Imam will finally get a chance to have a one-on-one meeting with the Vice President. Before now, his story of bravery, and humanity had traveled from his hometown in Nghar where, with the help of the Deputy Imam and village head, he had saved the lives of more than 200 residents of his village in Yelwa Hindi Akwati in Barkin Ladi, Plateau State, sheltering them in the mosque and in his home when Fulani herdsmen attacked the community on June 23, 2018.
I was opportune to join the team of US Embassy staff, German Ambassador, EU Ambassador, UK Deputy High Commissioner, led by US Ambassador Symington and DCM Young, who accompanied Imam Abubakar and his team including his son, Malam Ishaku Abubakar; the deputy Imam, Malam Umar Abdullahi; the village head, Damafulul Mangai, to go to the Villa that May 30th morning.
After DCM Young introduced 83 year old Chief Imam of Nghar village to VP Osinbajo, I listened again as Imam Abubakar narrated, in Hausa, the story of what happened that fateful day. “God creates us as different people, but commands us to live together, not harm each other” he began. My colleague Sani Mohammed translated as he spoke. I watched as he fought back tears recounting the story of how the community members who he had lived with as family for many years were killed while others scattered to take refuge in the mosque.
The mosque in which Imam Abubakar housed those fleeing the June 23rd attack
“He blocked the entrance of his home to prevent the attackers from coming in, not because of his strength but because God had willed it…” said Sani Mohammed as he translated the words of the Iman. The Imam finished with a plea to VP Osinbajo. He expressed his desire to see his neighbors return back to their homes from the IDP camps; for better road infrastructure; education; and for security. He maintained that the bad road, coupled with back communication network contributed to the delay in the arrival of security agents on the day of the attack. The Deputy Imam and the village chief spoke after the Imam. Each corroborated the story and highlighted the key role the Imam played while reaffirming his plea for assistance for the community.
All the while the delegates from Nghar village spoke, VP Osinbajo listened intently and took notes on his tablet. “The moment belongs to our hero Imam Abdullahi who has demonstrated some of the most courageous acts any human can offer” VP Osinbajo addressed the audience. He continued extolling the virtues of the Chief Imam whose story he remarked was compelling show of love by an individual in a country where tribe and religion plays a key role.
I sat in the meeting room and took it all in. I watched as the VP’s team listened intently, took notes and nodded at comments that resonated with them. I watched DCM Young tear up as the Imam and the Deputy Imam told him that they will always remember him, while commending his efforts in leading a visit to Nghar village and keeping the village at the center of subsequent visits to Plateau State.
Outside of the conference room, Nigerians on social media were commemorating Biafra Day. On May 30, 1967, after many months of ethnic and religious tension that led to pogroms in the North, where an estimated tens of thousands of Igbos were killed, causing many more to flee back to Eastern Nigeria, Ojukwu declared the independence of Biafra. It’s been 49 years post the Nigeria-Biafra Civil war and we are yet to fully recover from the experiences of the three year war. Nearly half a century later, Nigeria still continues to experience ethnic and religious tensions that degenerate into killings like the one that happened on June 23, 2018, in Nghar village in Plateau State.
Homes destroyed during the attack of Nghar village
As a peace-loving young Nigerian who has never personally experienced an outbreak of religious or ethnic violence, I salut Imam Abubakar’s courage to uphold humanity. For me, He exemplified love in the way that the Bible teaches me. I had the opportunity to travel with the US Embassy “Team Jos” to Nghar village in August 2018, two months after the attack. I saw first-hand the aftermath of the devastation of the village, and listened to the stories of the survivors in the IDP camps, including children who lost several family members. Violence rips communities apart! I commend VP Osinabjo for celebrating Imam Abubakar’s virtues and his promise to look into his plea for his people and his community. Honoring Imam Abubakar on the first day of the new administration is a step in the right direction. I pray for peace, unity and love for my country Nigeria. I pray that God gives our leaders the wisdom to set aside personal interests and lead the great people of Nigeria that He has entrusted in their care. And for leaders who are not ready to lead, I pray that God gives them the courage to vacate their positions and usher in capable hands who will take Nigeria to the “next level”.
A few months ago, I received a call from my mother’s number. I picked up my phone and it was my niece Chisom who had called to speak to me. I spent the first few seconds calling her by all her pet names like I always did when we spoke: Sommytech; Sommyboo; Sommy yum yum yum. With each name came her response “Yes, Aunty Bella”. As usual, I could see her smile from over the phone. I also pictured her drawing imaginary lines with her toes, and her cheeks warming up. Sometimes I think I suffocate my nieces and nephews with affection, but, I can’t help myself.
Aunty Bella guess what? Chisom beckoned. I knew there was more. That day, she seemed quite anxious to share what was on her mind. What is it Chisom? I asked now equally anxious to hear her out.
I’m a Scout! She declared Yay!!!!! Congratulations!!!! I’m so proud of you!!!!! I was besides myself with excitement. “On my honor as a Scout “, I prompted
“I promise that I will do my best, To do my duty to God and my country Nigeria
To help other people at all times, And to obey the Scout law” she completed, without mincing a word, a pledge that awakened my sense of patriotism as a teenager. I was full of pride for her and I could tell from her chuckle that she was equally satisfied.
Knowing that my niece is already growing to become an active citizen warmed my heart. I recall how my membership in this organization shaped my teenage years. Granted I learned about it shortly before exiting high school, I was still grateful for the opportunity to learn some valuable lessons in leadership, loyalty and patriotism.
I had the utter pleasure of watching Chisom over the Christmas holiday teach her four year old sister the scout promise. One time i was secretly observing them from the corner of my eye while we were at my grandma’s house. Each time Chimamanda, came into character and recited the promise, amidst extended pauses, and Chisom’s prodding. Chisom was determined to introduce everyone around her to her new community. I couldn’t help but wonder if I showed similar enthusiasm in my active scout years.
That call from Chisom was the first time in nearly two decades I had revisited my days as a scout. With graduation from high school, college, and everything in between, life seemed to move on and I got actively engaged in other activities that allowed me to continue to contribute meaningfully to my country and the world around me.
Last night, a serendipitous meeting with the Chief Commissioner of Scout of Nigeria rekindled my interest in the community that contributed to shaping my values as a patriotic citizen. I looked up from my phone after a certain gentleman across the table introduced himself as the Chief Commissioner of Scout in Nigeria. I had been non-talkative for the most part of the evening during a hangout with friends, until that introduction.
I suddenly looked up to catch a glimpse of the new arrival. “Good evening Sir” I greeted. “Did you say Commissioner of Scout?” I asked, my facial expressions mirroring every bit of my confusion.
“Yes, Commissioner of Scout” he answered.
“As in Scout, scout… like girls scout, boys scout?” I continued probing
“Yes, like scout, he replied rather calmly”.
I sat up on my seat and edged it closer to the table.
Until now, I guessed the scout of Nigeria would have a national structure, but this was the first time I was coming face to face with that. We spent the next hour discussing the structure, funding, and activities of Scouts in Nigeria. I was so delighted to learn about Commissioner Awunah’s plans and how the community is faring. He mentioned that he was the first Chief Commissioner under the age of 70 that Nigeria ever had. Wow! I found that rather telling, considering that this was an organization with members below the age of 18! But his passion and enthusiasm for his role and for the scout community was most evident.
Suddenly I felt my cheeks warm up and my eyes water. I admitted to him how truly honored I was to be having the conversation with him. I narrated my first camping experience as a scout and how I got my most memorable and painful accidents as a child. I was one of the students selected to go to camp in Umuahia. I don’t recall what year it was, but I was probably in ss1 or ss2. One of my good friends, and fellow scout, Chinelo, was also on that trip. Several outdoor activities had been lined up for us in addition to the classroom engagements.
I was a sucker for outdoor activities. I was a very athletic child. I engaged in all the sporting activities offered in my school: football, volleyball, basketball, tracks. But I had a special place for volleyball. In SS3, I was appointed the Games Prefect. I’ll be the first female to take on this role. Inter-house sports was one of my favorite times during the calendar year. Not only was it an opportunity to miss classes, even though my school found a way to make up for the missed classes, it was sporting activity galore!
So, understandably, i was thrilled when I came into the camp grounds and learnt that we will be engaging in a lot of outdoor activities. This particular day, several obstacle courses had been arranged for all campers. One of the activities involved a tight rope that was tied from one end of the tree to another. I had just finished a high jump activity which I scaled through effortlessly. I was ready for the next challenge, and the tight rope, which was about height felt like the next big thing. Without waiting to hear instructions for the activity, I asked my friend Chinelo, :Do you know I can jump this? I recall her daring me to … and that’s the last thing I remembered before I made for a jump and the rope flung me back several feet away. My friend Chinelo burst out laughing. Her laughter rung very loudly in my ears but it didn’t last for as long as long as anticipated. I found myself joining in the laughter seconds after taking in the pain of the fall. Chinelo quickly dashed towards me, pointing towards my elbow, her countenance changing almost instantly. She may have even uttered a few “Oh my God”. My gaze followed her finger down to my elbow and voila, my radius seemed to be facing a different direction from my ulna. Dislocation! In that instant, fear kicked in, and so did pain.
Chinelo called out for help and thankfully someone was on ground to force my bones back in place. A large band aid was wrapped around my elbow and I had to wear a sling for the rest of the stay. The next day, the pain was unbearable. My elbow was swollen, and shades of purple.
I won the best camper, and got my purple badge to show for it. But the lessons from that experience will always remain with me. I came home with the sling. My parents were very worried. For the next couple of weeks, I had a regular session with a traditional medicine man who coated my whole arm in red clay and kneaded the affected area with a smooth large stone. Kai! It was painful, I no go lie! I even wore the red clay on my arm to school the first few days.
I didn’t give Commissioner Awunah details of my injury. But I told him that my belonging to scout organization was one of the defining experiences of my life. I have often wondered what became of scouting in Nigeria. There isn’t much buzz about it like there ought to be. I wondered if the fact that the organization was previously run by 70+ years old people had anything to do with it. I think Scout of Nigeria is a viable platform for instilling some of those values that we often say have died in this generation of Nigerian youths. I look forward to giving back to a community that gave me so much and working together to shape the future of scout in Nigeria for generations to come.
Are you a scout? What is your memorable experience?
In a handshake with Chief Scout Commissioner of Nigeria
R: La date d’aujourd’hui est trieze Mai mille neuf sont quartre vingt dix neuf
Q: Qui est le President de la France ?
R: Le President de la France est M. Jacques Chirac
Q: Quel est la date national de la France?
R: La a date national de la France est quartorze Juillet mille neuf sont quartre vingt dix neuf.
Yesterday, sitting at the Air France Terminal at the O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, waiting to board the flight to Vienna, my mind travelled back to junior secondary school as I watched Air France staff set up a banner and a table of desserts and drinks. It was Bastille Day and they were set to celebrate with travelers.
As a child, France was the only other country I knew more than its capital, after Nigeria. It came with years of studying French all through high school. I loved French. Perhaps it was the novelty of learning something different, or the knowledge that it will be useful for someone considering a career at the United Nations. French was, without a doubt, my favorite subject, and I looked forward to each class period with great enthusiasm. The highlight of my week was usually the days when we had double period of French. My favorite long vacations (summer break) where those spent studying French at the French Language Village Badagry, which often included a one-day language emersion trip to Benin Republic.
Learning the basic socio-cultural facts about France came with learning the language. Bastille Day, like October 1, was etched in my memory growing up. I recall we often marked it with interschool French debate and quiz competions. On one such occasion, my stellar debate outing won me first place and a copy of Ferdinand Oyono’s “Une Vie de Boy”. Other activities to mark French National day included singing, drama and the waltz (or ballroom dancing as we called it).
Those days in high school were my most fond memories of commemorating Bastille day so watching Air France paint the terminal blue, blanc et rouge brought back so many memories. The festivities started at the check-in counter where the staff and crew members were spotted in red berets welcoming each traveler with a warm smile. The counters and back wall were decorated with red, blue and white ribbons. Up in the terminal area, the Air France crew members invited travelers to join in for some refreshment but not before two “clowns” joined in to animate the celebration.
They spent the hour leading up to boarding in the terminal area miming and taking photos with anyone who cared to join in the fun. The highlight of the celebration for me was when Ernest, a cartoonist, asked to draw a cartoon of me. He even let me eat my white frosting cupcake while he
sketched. Five minutes later, I had my first ever cartoon done with a marker and charcoal. Ernest was joined by another cartoonist and together they spent nearly an hour sketching mother and daughter, father and son, individuals and family groups.
The activities at the terminal elicited so much laughter from those who came by, and the joy in the faces of folks as the cartoonists revealed their sketch was priceless! What a fun way to mark the French National Day! Thank you to Air France Chicago for animating what could have been a long boring wait at the airport, and for the opportunity to reminisce on my high school days.
Congratulations to France, and what a belated Bastille Day gift the French National team brought home from Russia 2018!
What is your most memorable Bastille Day celebration?
Love and Light,
Bellanwa
Air France team pose for a group photo with the clowns at the Air France Terminal in Chicago
You’ve been invited to a gala event that promises to have professionals and the crème de la crème of the society in attendance. You are not a “social butterfly” and you cringe at the thought of mingling and meeting new people. You think navigating a crowd is the most nerve-racking thing. You wonder if people will want to meet you. Will they care what you have to say? Will you have enough interesting things to hold their attention? What if they bring up a topic you are not conversant with?
All these are very legitimate concerns; but, you are not alone. The fear of navigating a room full of strangers topped the list on a survey done by New York Times on people’s greatest fears. So, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Although a lot of our conversations today happen via social media, the place of face-to-face conversations cannot be ignored. Statistics reveal that majority still prioritize in-person meetings. This means it may be time to step out of your comfort zone.
Networking events presents a unique opportunity for us to build meaningful relationships with people we may not encounter in our regular circles. The first thing to keep in mind when attending such events is: why am I going?
Clearly articulating the outcomes you are hoping for and what success will look like is a motivating factor. Last month, I was invited by She Leads Africa to speak at their Lafiya Lifestyle Expo on “The Art of Mingling: Networking your Way to Success”. As someone who works in the field of diplomacy, networking is a big part of my work. In any given month, I attend at least two networking events with a guest list of anywhere from 100-200 people. I have had to develop strategies to help me better navigate both large and small gatherings, and form meaningful connections. I recap below six tips that I shared with the ladies at the Lafiya Lifestyle Expo.
Bella Anne speaking to women professionals on networking at a masterclass workshop organized by She Leads Africa.
Be memorable
While networking sessions may not be a popularity contest, you want to make sure that you stand out from the crowd. The popular catch phrase ‘dress to impress’ comes to mind. Ahead of the event, find out the dress code for the occasion and be sure you are dressed appropriately. When unsure, I’ll recommend you dress professional. Assert your confidence with a firm hand shake and your best smile. Come up with a quick and catchy introduction and remember to maintain eye contact. When handed a business card, take a moment to read the card an ask questions about the person and the work they do. Take interest in the individual and the conversation. People will remember conversations that add value to them or their work.
Take the bold first step
It is quite tempting to slide to the side of the room, clutching onto your drink like it’s your lifeline and hoping your outfit will transform into an invisible cloak. Don’t do that.
One of the tricks I’ve used to overcome this fear of launching into a conversation is approaching the person in the room who looks like they are having a hard time meeting other people. How will you know them some may ask. Well, for one, they will most likely be standing at the extreme end of another corner of the room, drink-in-hand staring into thin air. I agree that it’s easier when there are familiar faces in the room, and bursting into a boisterous conversation with a group of 4-5 people might seem daunting. But launching a conversation with another quiet person, I call them the “under-dogs”, in the room is an effective way to work your way into the crowd. Some of the most meaningful connections I have made have been with the seemingly quiet persons in the room. They may not have a crowd of people fluttering around them but you will have an opportunity to delve deeper and forge a deeper connection with them.
Be interested
So someone has finally approached you for a conversation, or you have made the bold step yourself to spark a conversation with someone, it is important to concentrate on the conversation you are having with the individual/s. Be open minded and willing to learn from the people you meet. Ask questions about things you don’t understand. It gives your acquaintance the feeling that you are keen on the conversation. Avoid distractions, and please resist the urge to pick up your phone. Nothing says “I’ll rather be doing something else” than playing around with your phone while someone is trying to hold a conversation with you. Except you are trying to solve world peace, or dealing with an emergency, your phone belongs in your bag or face down on the table. If you must, politely excuse yourself to take the call. Your acquaintance will appreciate that.
Be interesting
Prior to going into a networking event, it’s useful to have some basic information about the gathering. What is it about? Who will be in the room? Arming yourself with this information ahead of time will help you better prepare small talks to keep the conversation going. If it’s a tech gathering, read up on the latest news on leading innovations in the tech industry. It may not be your field of expertise, but having general information on trends in the industry and current happenings will help you flow with conversations. Be open to also sharing your unique experiences and aspects of your work that you consider fascinating.
Be yourself
Know that people want to meet you and know you for who you are. Your work, and life experiences are unique to you and your story is valid. There is always the temptation to try to impress your acquaintance by over selling yourself or tailoring your message to what you think they want to hear. But the most organic and natural-flowing conversations are ones in which everyone brings their authentic self. Honesty is an important foundation for a lasting relationship.
Follow up
Follow-up with individuals you will like to stay in touch with within a few days of the meeting. In the email, be sure to include some highlights of your conversation to refresh their memory. Briefly introduce any area you will like to continue conversations on and request for a follow up meeting to discuss further.
Don’t forget to send an email to the event organizers. Thank them for the invitation and for providing the platform for you to engage with new contacts. Also do let them know you will be interested in attending future events.
What techniques have worked for you in the past? What steps have you taken to overcome your nervousness and take the bold step to meet new people?
I had worked hard with some of my girl champions preparing for yet another event where we will raise money to support adolescent girl child education. I had the most fun working with the girls. Their leadership and commitment to service was inspiring. Deep down, I was quite proud of the women they were becoming.
By the end of our two fundraisers, we had raised over 600,000 naira. I remember the look of pride and joy in their faces when they learned what we had been able to accomplish together. With the money raised, we were able to provide scholarships to eleven girls at Government Girls Secondary School Dutse, over the course of two school years.
In addition to the scholarships provided, I also provided direct mentoring, through leadership development sessions, to the girls. It gives me great joy to know that those girls have now graduated from secondary school. Some of them have started university education while the others are working towards starting their university education.
Tomorrow I’ll be making a big announcement.😊
I want to thank everyone who has been part of my journey so far. I look forward to building the future together.
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bellanwa 